Dear Niko,
Why does my nail polish chip the day i put it on?
- Bethany Sloane, Adelaide
Dear Bethany,
There’s a very simple answer to that question. If you don’t put it on, it won’t chip. So therefore, if you DO put it on, it WILL chip. Also, the universe is funny with things like that. It seems that the universe does everything it can to be ironic to us, from chipping nail polish the day you put it on, to giving Ducks a great hunger for bread yet making them unable to buy a loaf. Unless you can change the laws of the universe, your nail polish will always chip once you put it on. Fret not though, with or without perfectly coloured nails, i’ll bet you’re still cool.
Dear Niko,
why do I get pleasure out of smelling everything?
- Hans Christian Nakedpants, Adelaide
Dear Hans,
Getting extreme pleasure out of simple things, such as food, or smells in your case, often derives from unfulfilled sexual urges manifesting in other ways. Being that you take pleasure from smelling things, to me, says there’s something that you’re lacking in the bedroom. Only you can know what that is, but i’d suggest either talk to your significant other about filling this urge. Failing that, there are a number of prostitues around town who can be quite suggestible given the right amount of money in the picture, so price around. Your third option is just to keep smelling things, but tread lightly on this one, for the day you start trying to pick up the scent of your fellow man and follow him may be the day you find yourself unemployed!
Dear Niko,
Why is uni so boring?
- Kris Kristoffersen, Adelaide
Dear Kris,
Uni is boring because the topic you have chosen to study is boring. You have no one to blame for this but yourself. My suggestion is, ditch it if you don’t find it interesting, because if you don’t enjoy learning NEW things about it, how do you expect to enjoy doing the job every day? If it’s boring, then I suggest trying something new. Don’t stay in study just because it’s the popular thing to do, tread your own path. That goes for everyone out there, if you think Uni sucks, why stay there? Take a chance on something you might love every day.
Well, it seems that today consisted of Nails, Smells and the Boring Work Of Uni. Yes, I capitalised them. I’m not really telling people to go out and get prositutes, it’s all in good fun. Till next time, this is Niko the Sicko!
